Monday, January 18, 2010

brotherly love hurts

Our oldest son, LA, is 3 1/2 now. His younger brother, Boatboy, is 19 months. The past 5 months have been my hardest yet as a Mom. I think it all really started when LA turned 3 and we gave his paci away and Boatboy started becoming very mobile. Those two world-wrecking things happened to him within a period of a month or so. He turned into a child we didn't even recognize. He was so unkind to his brother. He would push and say, "I don't like you brother!" So sad. I wanted to cry almost every time he said it! We had already introduced spanking into his life, but it was so seldom used. It turned into part of the daily routine when timeouts just didn't work. I thought I would never have a child that I would have to spank. I thought, "I am too good of a Mom to have a disobedient child." Oh, how wrong I was! I have been very humbled the last few months with not being in complete control. I have dug very deep for extreme patience and the ability to be very consistent. One thing that really kept me going when the boys were not getting along was knowing that relationships take time to form. God gifted me with these two boys to help form a relationship and to mold me more into the woman He created me to be...I am learning.

LA and Boatboy are very different and it is exciting for me to figure how they each need to be loved differently. LA and I could sit and read 20 (no exaggeration) books together, do crafts and just hang out. Boatboy sits through maybe 2 pages of a book. He loves to dance, sing very loud, do puzzles, chase, talk to complete strangers and be super goofy! They are such beautiful and unique gifts to me. I want to be a Mom that embraces the differences and supports them. The thing is, sometimes I have no idea what I'm doing! I pray every day that God would show me how each of my children need to be loved. I am also very thankful each day I am still able to receive such selfless love from parents. I hope to love my children the way they have always loved me!

Just prior to Christmas-time, a light came on for LA and he started enjoying his brother. At first I was thinking, "Wow! We are having a great day!" Then, the next day was good. And, the next day. After a lot of work, prayer, a VERY supportive and involved hubby and a 5'o clock glass of wine or beer a few days a week - I have finally seen the fruits of brotherly love! LA loves to teach and include Boatboy in almost everything he does these days. And, Boatboy loves to laugh and bother his older brother with everything. I love watching them grow and learn together.

It is a reminder to me of how much God loves me.

And believe me when I say we still have our bad days...but those bad days are nothing compared to the recent valley we muttled through. I would love to hear any of your fun boy stories!

Embedded below is a video that reminds me that the fun we have together will sometimes have its pains. :)



2 comments:

Kristin said...

You are such an incredible mother and a great resource for those of us with younger kids - you get to experience it first and we get to reap the benefits, ha! Seriously, though, you are a great role model for patience and consistency. Too bad our boys won't realize it until they have their own kids (we'll have to remind them of it often).

Shannon said...

I just love your beautiful heart. Walkin with you my sweet friend, right with ya!!!